Count Chocula's biography

Ernst Choukula was born the third child to Estonian landowers in the late autumn of 1873. His parents, Ivan and Brushken Choukula, were well-established traders of Baltic grain who-- by the early twentieth century--had established a monopolistic hold on the export markets of Lithuania, Latvia and southern Finland. A clever child, Ernst advanced quickly through secondary schooling and, at the age of nineteen, was managing one of six Talinn-area farms, along with his father, and older brother, Grinsh. By twenty-four, he appeared in his first "barrelled cereal" endorsement, as the Choukula family debuted "Ernst Choukula's Golden Wheat Muesli", a packaged mix that was intended for horses, mules, and the hospital ridden. Belarussian immigrant silo-tenders started cutting the product with vodka, creating a crude mush-paste they called "gruhll" or "gruell," and would eat the concoction each morning before work. The trend unwittingly spread, with alcohol being replaced by sheep--and then cow's--milk, and the demand for the Choukula's "cereal" reached as far south as Poland and as far west as the northern Jutland province of Denmark. It wasn't long before the unmistakable image (the original packaging, a three gallon wooden vat which featured a burnt etching of a jubilant, overalled Ernst holding a large dog and grinning broadly) made a pop-cultural splash throughout the entirety of Europe and northern Africa. In fact, Tunisia's "Carthagian Sand Crunch" was seen as the first imitation of the Choukula form; the aforementioned product was presented in broad leathern bags with the woven insignia of a nude tribesman holding a sword and a bunched stalk of oats. Sadly, this would neither be the first nor the tamest appropriation of Ernst's iconic visage. Meanwhile, in the "textile paradise"-region of Schenectady / Elmira New York, General Peter Mills--a celebrated turret gunner in McKinley's navy--was first beginning to mine America's seemingly insatiable desire to consume food before high noon. The trend, initially known in the United States as "brekkfest" had first appeared in 1903, with Dominic Eggo's invention of "wassled" or "waffled" bread, and really picked up steam throughout the teens and twenties, when eating in the morning was no longer deemed a sin by the Anglo-Catholic church. News of Choukula's economic domination across the Atlantic fascinated and troubled Mills, who was eager for similar success. In 1927, while vacationing the Iberian peninsula, he first encountered three discarded barrels of "Duke Choukula's Animal Supplement" (the name and design of the product had undergone several makeovers throughout the previous seven years, the most recent of which featured Ernst dressed in a cape and tiara, reflecting his family's oft-disputed ties to Eurasian royalty). Immediately intrigued, Mills brought one with him on his boat ride back to the States, and spent the twenty-three day trip obsessively studying the packaging. In the spring of 1929, General Mills' "Prince Chocula's Morning Digestive" was picked up for distribution in three dozen pharmacies, grocery stands and agrarian carts throughout New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey and northern Maryland. The public response was confused and angered at the recipe's savory, clove-like sting; apparently a confusion over the name led many to believe the breakfast was made from chocolate, and by 1931 the formula had been updated to reflect the nation's collective sweet tooth. In 1932, boxes were labeled simply "Count Chocula's Chocolate Food" and Peter Mills was named Life Magazine's "Humanitarian of the Year, 1933". Ernst Chocula died in a Ukrainian cabin, penniless and alone, having descended into a type of brain-madness.

~~This biography was not infact written by me. My uncle found it and had to show it to me. It has since been removed from the wikipedia page, but I felt that people should know this. So thank you to whomever wrote this biography and I hope to keep it alive.

30 Seconds to Mars nominated for ANOTHER VMA!!!!!

"This is a song called 'The Kill,' but don't be afraid...
it's a nice song...
about losing you mind."
~Jared Leto

30 Seconds to Mars Nominated for VMA!!!

The Greatest Flipping Day of My Entire Life!!!

Yesterday was the BEST DAY EVER!!! Ok, so it started kinda sucky, but around 12:45 maybe even 1 o'clock, it got totally awesome. I went to RockFest '06. It was a twelve hour festival of great music. I missed the first band because of the darn ACT test, which I don't think I did too bad on. But, I heard 3/4 of the second band. The line up was awesome. They had two stages and fifteen bands. The first band was Halestorm. I missed them. Next was Federation of Horsepower, they are a local band that is trying to get discovered, and they have moved up. Usually they are the first band to play. Third was Evans Blue. They rock so hard. Next was Revelation Theory. They are so good. Fourth was Trapt. They have a few good songs and they played all of them. Nonpoint was inspiring except that for some reason, they began their show with The Final Countdown by Europe. I mean what were they thinking????? So anyway, the seventh band was Shadow's Fall. They were great. Next was Black Stone Cherry. So awesome and all of the members of the band are under 23. So then it was the original lineup of Candlebox. They were great and old, but amazing. Then Hurt. I heard them everywhere at this place it was so loud. Three Days Grace was amazing and wonderful and great. Twelfth was my FAVORITE band of the entire show. Hinder. They were the best and so great and so much fun and perfect and wonderful and the best and amazing and everything. Next was Shinedown. I knew all of their songs and it was spectacular. The headliner of the second stage was Buckcherry. That was the most interesting part of the show. They rocked and sang and jumped and screamed and were awesome. The headliner of the whole show was Staind. They were the loudest and most breathtaking band there. It was the greatest concert ever.

I got rained on during the last band, saw five people I knew, three of whom graduated, one that I haven't seen in years, and the other one I will see in August. I got a Hinder shirt and a RockFest shirt. The Hinder on is my favorite. I had some guy fall on me while he was crowd surfing, I had smoke blown in my face all day, I got a beer poured on my legs, I got to see Hinder, it was perfect. There were 30,000 people there and about 9,000 looked like one of my friends, but just slightly different. One guy looked like a combination of Ronnie James Dio and Jesse James Dupree, the lead singers of Dio and Jackyl respectively. If you don't know who Dio and Jackyl are, get out of my blog. Now. I am not kidding. You are not allowed to come back until you learn who Dio and Jackyl are. I mean it. And I think I saw my future husband. Not Jared Leto, this guy I might actually have a chance with. He was gothic, with blond hair, in pigtails, and he was wearing a floor length skirt. I saw him like 30 times or something insane like that. He was not attractive at all, but I think I fell in love. And he was the first person that I saw after dark and he was wearing all black. I saw tons of cute guys and managed to get hit on by only two old guys. I was told to drive safely by two drunk guys after the show but they were kinda sexy so it was ok. I left smelling like stale cigarettes, beer, rain, mud, THC (people around me especially during the Hinder song "Go Home and Get Stoned"), sweat, spit, and port-a-potties. I smelled like a concert. My goal for every concert is to leave smelling like beer, puke, urine, cigarettes, sweat, and a few other substances depending on the area of the concert and who is playing. I loved yesterday and will be wearing my Hinder shirt every chance I get. It rocks because it is a shirt with Hinder on it. Hinder on a shirt. Something I can wear that says Hinder. A piece of Hinder merchandise. Hinder on an article of my clothing. HINDER!!! Yay!

Yay!!

The only thing left for me to do is see a 30 Seconds to Mars concert. That will be the one thing that will make my life complete. Then I can die a happy person. Yay!!!!!

I admit it...

I am obsessed. I do have a problem, but if anyone tries to help me get over it, they will be hurt. Severly. I now realize that I am obsessed with Jared Leto and his band 30 Seconds to Mars. They are awesome and, unlike other actors-who-want-to-be-musicians, he can really sing. In case you haven't noticed, the last few entries I have made are promoting 30 Seconds to Mars. My new wallpaper on my desktop is a collage of 20 Jared Leto pictures. I have both albums and I have made a list of all the movies he has been in and they are priced to where they are the cheapest, Wal-Mart and Best Buy. He has two movies coming out, one he plays serial killer Raymond Martinez Fernandez and the toher he plays John Lennon's killer Mark David Chapman. For the latter role, he gained 67 pounds, but he is still sexy, by melting chocolate Haagen-Dazs ice cream and mixing it with olive oil and soy sauce before drinking it. He has lost all but 12 of the pounds and releases a music video for their new single The Kill and he is looking sexier than ever. Now leave me and my obsession alone.

30 Seconds to Mars Part 2

I see no problem with supporting my favorite band. 30 Seconds to Mars rocks!!!

30 Seconds to Mars

GAW!!!!!

GAW! I am so bored. Crappy Fall Out Boy video. Why can't they play any good music videos anymore? I mean come on, deer people? OOH OOH never mind. Velvet Revolver, Velvet Revolver. VH1 is FINALLY playing something good. Usually when they play music videos they play crap like James Blunt, or Kelly Clarkson. MTV just plays rap, so not a big fan of their music videos either. Where is the KoRn, Slipknot, Nine Inch Nails, ya know the good stuff? OOH OOH, NIN video NIN video. They finally played Velvet Revolver, but KoRn had to put rappers in their new video for "Twisted Transistor" as themselves. Now they are talking about making a movie based on the video. Staring the rappers not KoRn. GAW!!!! The song rocks, the BAND rocks, but the video sucks. I just don't get it. Why don't they play good music on tv anymore? There is only one radio station that I can even stand anymore. The rest just play crap. All I have to say is GAW!!!!

If you happen to like James Blunt, Kelly Clarkson, or that crappy Fall Out Boy video with the deer people, then I am very sorry. But, you have horrible taste in music.

Dude's Song

Dude's Song
By My Mom

OH, where have you been Dudey Boy, Dudey Girl?
OH, where have you been little Dudey?

I have been to the salon to get my eyebrow waxed!
I'm a young thing that can not leave his mother!


That song is dedicated to a "special" person. You know who you are.

Stupid People Talking on the Stupid Speakers

Ok. I'm gonna KILL something. This thing is soooooo annoying. Let me give you some background information...

In the kitchen, we have these speakers. They work fine and sound great. There's only one problem. Every now and then they pick up this guy that is talking to someone or something. He usually says something funny or incoherent, but we never hear the other side of the conversation. He must be talking to someone. I mean, who really talks to themselvs THAT much? So any way, I just stopped caring when he started talking. I only listen part of the time, but now he has a friend. Not just any friend, mind you, but a Firby. Yeah thoes stupid things that kids loved about 3-4 years ago.

I never liked Firby, not even in the begining. Now I hate them. And this one just says "Firby!" over and over. I will KILL it! It never speaks with the man, it talks for about 5 minutes then silence. Oh I love the silence. Then the man talks, and he says something like, "Yeah I say them chickens runnin about the yard. It was annoyin." Yeah. I know. But he is beter than the Firby.

So, Let me re-cap... This guy talks to himself on our kitchen speakers, he gets a Firby and lets it talk, I kill the Firby, and everyone is happy. Ok? Good.

See You Dead

See You Dead
Helmet

Like to see you
Into pieces
Won't be walkin
Barely breathin

Like to see you
At my door
We're together
Like before

I could miss you more right now
Or I could slit your throat
Sometimes I get so down you're not around
I'd rather see you dead

See you dead

At night you're sleeping
By his side
Tried to see you
But you let him decide

I'm a threat now
Well I is scared
It's just murder
Least you know I care

I could miss you more right now
Or I could slit your throat
Sometimes I get so down you're not around
I'd rather see you dead

Sometimes I get lonely and all I need is
Just to see you dead

See you dead
See you dead

See you dead
Dead
See you
See you
See you

Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
Dead
DEAD

Sometimes I get so down you're not around
I'd rather see you dead
Sometimes I get lonely and all I'd need is
Just to see you dead

Sometimes I get so down you're not around
I'd rather see you dead

See you dead
Dead
See you dead
Dead
See you dead

My New Idea

I discovered that I can't keep a journal to save my life. I tried to keep a daily journal, but I realized that my life is very boring. So then I tried to keep a journal that was filled with random things that happened to me, but they were either too wierd or too stupid. I have tried everything I can think of. Except...

I will start posting things that I have memorized. They will be from movies, books, commercial jingles, poems, songs, etc. If I screw somthing up, it is because I memorized it wrong, or you did. All of this will be from memory. That means I won't have the book or lyrics right in front on me when I post it. Maybe that will get me to make more entries.

Maybe not.

Blah Blah Blah

I have really nothing new to say except I still feel a certain way about a certain thing that no one will ever really understand. But, that is old news. School is just as bad, but now I am used to it.

I have to do a commercial in Speech. My group hates me. well, not all of them. We didn't get to pick our own groups or it wouldn'thave been a problem.

I have people thinking I have a boyfriend when I don't. One guy is just plain wierd and the other is creepy. The wierd one is my friend and the other is just an associate. I would never in a million years date either one of them.

That is what is going on in my life at the moment. Oh and by the way... 9 days!!!!

My Play

I'm in a play. Yes, me in a play. The play is called Robinella. It is about Robin Hood and Cinderella switching bodies. The Blue Fairy form Pinocchio comes when she hears Cinderella (me) and Robin Hood fighting. She switches our bodies and makes me Robin Hood. I (Robin Hood) must find Cinderella (who at this point is played by a guy) so we can switch back into our regular bodies. Snow White ends up hitting on me (Robin Hood) thinking I am Prince Charming. Well I find Cinderella, we start fighting again and the Blue Fairy returns. She tries to switch us back but ends up killing Cinderella and Robin Hood. It is sorta for little kids. I love this play!!!

Friends Suck

My friend is gone and never coming back. I'm gonna miss my friend. My other friend is really upset right now. Her best friend is going out with her ex and she still kinda has feelings for him. My best guy friend is probably getting homeschooled befor the year is over. I can't work with my best friend on a project because too many people would be in the group. My friends are all abandoning me and it sucks.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and All That Crap

Yeah I know that the holidays are over, but I can still say it. Christmas was good, I got what I wanted, Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas DVD. The only thing I even asked for. New Year's Eve was spent listening to the radio for the top rock songs of the year. The top two songs are two of my favorite songs, Slither by Velvet Revolver, and Cold by Crossfade. Great songs. I go back to school tomorrow, that sucks, but i get to see all my friends. Really thats about it. Whatever.

Guten Tag

ich lernen Deutsch.
ich bin funfzehn.
meine Lieblingsfarbe ist schwarz.
meine Lieblingsband ist Rammstein.
ich habe rot harr und brille.
ich bin schlank.
ich bin verruckt.
ich habe blau Augen.
meine Gluckzahl ist vierundsiebzig.
Auf Wiedersechen.

My Socks

As the title says, this entry is about my socks. I have the coolest socks in the world!!! They have the little individual toes and pretty designs and colors. I have some with frogs, monkeys, turtles, spiders with googly eyes, some with stripes, or skeletons or just about anything else. Some come up to my knees and some only come to my ankles. My favorites are the nes that come to my knees, are black, yellow, pink and other colored, with fuzzy things on them. I have some that I can't wear because they are itchy. They are black and have sparkels on them. I LOVE MY SOCKS!!!!

Psycho Chicks and Soccer Games

Let me start off by saying that I went to a school function yesterday. But let’s start from the beginning. I have a few friends on the boy's soccer team. After lunch one of them asked me if I was going to the game. I said I'd think abut it but probably not. He was like whatever. So we went to science and had our normal conversations; e.g. road kill, his car, just things like that. So right after science, we had math. Before class, I asked him what time and where the game was. He said it was a home game at 5:30. So I was like ok. Well like two minutes later he said it was at some other place that wasn't the school and it started at 4 not 5:30. I just looked at him like he was nuts but he pointed out that this weird psycho chick was sitting right there listening to our conversations. She likes him a lot and he can't stand her.
Well, I asked her if she liked him and she said, "YEAH!!! Why wouldn't I?" Well my friend heard that and started gagging. Like 15 minutes later she asked me if I like him. Well, I do just not in the same way. I like him as a friend and a person. So then he tells me that every time she looks at me she smiles and that she likes me! Well that kinda made me mad. She told me how much she likes him and went into well lets just say details. This freaked my friend out.
So when the announcements came on they said where and when the soccer game was. My friend was mad. The psycho chick told me she might come just to see him play. So I got to the game and there were only 2 other people there. People started showing up. At the end of the game the score was 9-0 the other team. But there were only 8 people, counting me, from my school. There were 15 or so people from the other school and about 15 parents. The only cheerleaders were from the other team and it was our home game.
So yes, I did go to a school function and that was an experience I will probably never have again.

A comment

James said...
My friend: and I comment as a friend: that red font color is hideous and must be retired post haste.

First of all, I'm not your friend. I don't even know you. Secondly, red works on my background. That dosen't mean I like red, I just went for a color I haden't used yet. If I wanted to use the color that I liked, I would use green or black all the time but one color is very boring. If you have that big a problem with my font, then you shouldnt come back to my journal. If you read my first entry, or my description for that matter, I clearly said that if you don't like the stuff I had to say then you shouldn't continue reading it. I didn't ever think that I would have to be this specific, if you don't like my font don't continue reading. You wont be missed, trust me.